Kickassia
Written: 18th May 2010
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At long last! I'd like to begin my clarifying that this 'award winning' section will not be occupied by That Guy With The Glasses every week because I think they're the only ones worthy of receiving an award for circle jerking. It will be occupied by That Guy With The Glasses every week because I'm too lazy to check anywhere else. The only possible exception will be the recent Youtube 5 year anniversary celebrations, which praised the website's slow degeneration from a sparsely populated website with shitty Linkin Park AMVs to a densely populated cesspool of advertising, Vlogs and video game reviewers to such a point where you could almost hear your inner child being strangled by Billy Mays.
For some reason it's a kinda rule on the internet that we have a cute little image of something to represent part of the logo, but since I can't draw TGWTG circle jerking, nor want to, i'm going to post a picture of a kitty so you'll stay interested and not fuck off back to Doug Walker because he can flash a chew toy on camera with his fancy Blip.tv videos.
Kicking off the series will be the latest spooge of the internet's most loved gang of all tugging uber-nerds, the entire That Guy With The Glasses reviewing 'team' whose 'community' has decided to 'thank their fans for their gracious support'. They decided to fulfil this criteria by making a 6 part series of patronisation that would rival a 1970's school learning VHS tape of sex education, offering such incentives for more entertainment by selling various chunks of 'premium content' in order to reap in as much cash as possible from their easily led and easily amused fanbase.
As of writing, only two parts have surfaced, the first being the planning of the 'invasion' of Molossia and the second being the actual invasion, leading one to wonder what the other fucking parts could possibly be for sans another insultingly overcompensating, goofy 'brawl' that can only result in myself and anyone on this website to hang ourselves from our roofs in unison when the video results in overwhelming praise and a standing ovation because 10 nerds with no career skills decided to have a circle jerking sissy fight on camera with special effects because they have no originality anymore and only offer mutual monetary support to each other because they appear in so many of each others videos, I expect them to merge into one, manifesting in the form of a Saturday Night Live orgy of condescending bullshit.
I'm sure that yet again I'm probably the only one to realise that releasing 6 parts individually on Blip.tv with pre-roll, on screen and post-roll ads, peddling 'premium content' on the Kickassia videos, generating hype with a movie inspired 'trailer' and signing autographs is probably based on some kind of thinly veiled monetary benefit, or maybe it's just me being jealous as usual because my shitty little website here isn't getting off of the ground and I'm butthurt because they made 2 of my former collaborators leave because they bribed them with Baby Oil, internet fame, a cushy job and a fucking gourmet dinner.
Maybe they're all about the community, huh? Perhaps I'm jealous and I need to get out more.
- Mr Montmorency
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